….and you ask yourself: “how did I get here??

Writing is so hard when your feeling good. Nothing comes to you as freely as it did. Now, i’m looking at a keyboard
thinking of thing to write about.

Has my mental illness journey finally stop? I mean they do say, “all good things come to an end”, but I have
something that is helping my mood and stabling my life as much as it can. Shouldn’t I have more information and Ideas to venture??

They never tell you what happens after the storm.

So now, I’m sitting here, typing an excuse of why I don’t have an elaborate, cool, funny entry to give and asking myself:

What Now?

and did I ever have elaborate, cool, funny entries? I mean…

Mr. Mental Illness

There is a man that comes into my job purposely to get angry at us. I know this because I was warned of him before I even started working.

Mental Illness is at play, I think.

No one comes into someone job to be angry or nasty to others.. I just don’t think that is normal. Or maybe it is..

All I know is that this man has no regard for us or what we do for him.

Now… What am I suppose to do when I see him knowing that mental illness is at play? I’m an mental illness advocate but you can’t just come with ‘hi! Do you have a mental illness? I’ve noticed that you are angry like I was. Do you need help’

Nope. No. No way

Sitting back and watching is the worst.

Anyone got any Change??!

I’m  so ready for some change I can taste it. I can’t keep doing the same things and expect things to be different.

I can’t:

Smoke all day, everyday

Not exercise

Not have any goals

I got to get a fucking grip with reality. Before I blamed it on my mental illness, but now I’m starting to realize that it just is me! Me me me

Now that I know… Knowing is half the battle but let the battle begin because I’m going to have to fight to keep myself in check.

Change is hard to find. 

Disconnected DoDo

I’m feeling really disconnected from everything I’m doing and feeling. Dull.

I don’t really want to engaged with anything at the moment. May was super busy for and it looks like June is looking the same but still something is lacking its luster.

Even my blog is feeling dry and withered.

Can it be this medication I’m on? Did my illness at least make my days feel different because you never knew when I was going to be what I was going to be, whenever I was going to be it.  

Got that?

I just want to feel empowered, but that might be within and I’m just going to have to find it.

ANGER, WILL ROBINSON! ANGER!

Yup! It’s creeping on me yet again..

I don’t know why but lately I’ve been hating everything and every one. It sucks. Work has been hard because I hate my co workers. Home has been hard because I hate my husband and my cats. The internet sucks because I hate writing and everything media related.

Yeah, its been THAT KIND of anger and I don’t know how to shake it.

I need mediation, a spell, a serum or a wish because this anger might be here for the long run.

but… its also the Mercury Retrograde happening, and that isn’t good.

There is a lot going on and I can’t seem to control anything.

Yuck…

Mental Illness Kindle Book

There is a mental health book on Kindle right now discussing a woman’s tale of mental illness. Here is more information:

P.s. This is totally late! I’ve been trying and trying to post this all weekend but to no avail! Please still go check out the book and support Mental Health!

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. To spread awareness and support, we are running a promotion beginning today, Wednesday May 20th, through 12 Midnight on Sunday, May 24th. The memoir, Forever Different, will be available for a free Kindle download and $1.00 per download will be donated to the International BiPolar Foundation.

Forever Different is the uncut, raw and gripping story of one woman’s personal life struggle with the extreme highs and lows of Bipolar I Disorder. This memoir is self published and the book was responsible for her journey to found her own publishing company, Christine F. Anderson Publishing & Media.  

The free Kindle download is available here:  Forever Different Kindle Edition

For more information about the author, please visit: ChristineFAnderson.com

For more information about Christine F. Anderson Publishing & Media, please visit: PublishWithCFA.com

To Learn More About BiPolar Disorder, please visit: IBPF.org